Carnival by Natalie Merchant
Yesterday, Chris said he's "fallen" for me, hard.
I always said this was going to get messy.
The scariest part? I think I may feel the same way about him. It seems like it sometimes, but in other instances, I convince myself I'm simply thinking about it too much, psychicing myself out so to speak.
I always thought someone taking me in would be unwavering and absolutle, with no hesitation or fear. Yet, my mind is being reluctant, isn't that the strangest thing? Chris has been nothing but honest and sweet to me, no mixed signals or fickle encounters and I am more nervous because of it. I know his feelings are real & I know this is serious. That's what's got me so spooked.
We've skirted the topic in converstaions but I know we will have to address it eventually. That will be a first in my life, for sure.
"Love" is a funny word, an even funnier emotion from what I've seen & heard. Love is the stuff movies are based on. I think that's part of my problem. I watched too much tv growing up.
